Zzzzzzzz's for Zombie a la carte

Im just beginning to realise how empty life can be, when it seems its most full.
I think the greatest bane of my existence is structure,routine, the endless drudgery of 'knowing' exactly what will happen everyday. I truly marvel at people who enjoy this, who enjoy a 9-5 existence mapped out for them.
Not that I have really great adventures when im not structured, sheesh! but i can still plan incessantly and dream erroneously. I hate this steady setting in of my primal fears, seeping into my existence. Being ordinary, mundane, wasted. Too lazy to look forward, think forward or do anything in a 'forward' propelling motion.
Is it loneliness that heightens the feeling, or is it just the acknowledgement of the feeling itself? What is it with me?
Why is it that I know exactly what im capable of accomplishing, but somewhere in the middle of it all I lose all initiative. Wasted potential?
More like potential put aside in pursuit of nothing...because thats oh-so interesting to master.