Once upon a time there was the dream of the perfect bedtime story. An arousing fairytale to be told to a little girl tucked in bed awaiting delusions of grandeur she would come to call ‘dreams’. A heroic account of new beginnings and fabricated fortitude. A story where good always triumphed and the prince always kissed her princess awake and alive in the end. And where the princess still retained the satisfaction of being saviour.
The story would feature time as a spatial nuisance, given no more consideration than an empty container and solitary continuum. A space, where beginnings and ending could randomly occur in a tangential loop of ideas. Kafka’s clocks colliding with Kubric’s consequences.
The story would showcase life cemented in post-modern witticisms and ironic sharp turns that are somehow always fortuitous. A tale with an ever-present score flitting through a background of smug repartee’ and credulous conversations. The strains effortlessly shifting from Under the Sea to Beethoven’s Elise and from James Horner’s I Am Gladiator to Eminem’s Lose Yourself. No moment left undernourished, overturned…subdued.
In the story, the saviour will struggle. She will survive and she will always, always, Always win. She will get the guy, who will be crafted into so many layers he will virtually iron himself off the page.
A check-list of idle wish fulfilment fit for the most discerning of princesses:
Wit – check
Idiocy - check
Smarts – check
Smiles – check
Scowls - check
Kindness- check
Cruelty - check
Handsomeness – check
Ugliness- check
Perfection – check
Flaws - check
Success – check
Failure – check
Independence – check
Desperation – check
And in the story she will always be enough. More than a match for him and occasionally fashioned to outshine him completely.
The fairy tale will be a contrived tragedy composed with a hint of suspense, a dash of drama and only a deliberate sprinkling of laconic comedy. With a surprisingly happy turn right before the end. Cohen bros meets John Hughes; with a set designed by oompa loompas; a score by Tchaikovsky and lyrics by Dylan. Scripted by Woody Allen (the Hall years), directed by Jack Warner and shot at Dream Works Studios for unavoidable realisation.
The story is beautiful.
And it is beautiful because it has no beginning and only a Happily Ever After at the close… which never comes.
The story is pristine.
And it is pristine because it hasn’t been told.
The story hasn’t been told.
And it hasn’t been told because the little girl meant to believe in it has yet to be born.
