How to Make a Moment

Lost in a chain of non-linear non-moments.
The never-ending well of not happening, not doing, not wanting, not trying and not having.
Non-Moments, every one of them.
The minutes spent brushing teeth without music murmuring in the background, seconds lapsed tying laces without registering the weather, hours spent staring off into television commercials blocking out the smell of caramel.

We are curious as to what makes her carve this expression. "What exactly is a 'non-moment' Maria?"
All those faded scraps of time spent staring into space?
Or is it the numbing of senses for sensibilities?
But then are they 'lost', what an unfair analogy for an individual who perpetually catches herself fantasizing about lying stoned in the middle of her steel grey mat floor, listening to 'Moonlight in Vermont' by Chet Baker and waiting for the swirls to form on her ceiling. It is not the swirls that bring on the high, it is the wait for them.
Toes tingling, breathing shallow and starstruck lunacy...all spent in the anticipation of tingling toes, shallow breathing and legitimate lunacy.

Yesterday's caught and bound in today's photo albums bring new lows, the smiling 'you's and them's' bring lows, the tears bring highs. For now she is an ice-cube swimming in our glass of neat vodka, and wondering why the blues are more beautiful than ever.
Wondering why she never learned to play the saxophone.
Wondering why she never wanted to.
Wondering why she under-rates the importance of stillness.
Wondering why she is alone.
Wondering how smoke can take so long to curl into oblivion.
Wondering how many non-moments it takes to make a moment?

Then they come, unabashed... in waves.
The swirls. Shadows behind the mirrors of locked eyelids.
Bottle green, Electric blue, and Tangerine Pink.

And there you have it.... a Moment.