Fate Fable

Its just one of those days. When it rains and the sun is bright and you can’t quite figure out which to celebrate.
A forced perfection of tangents.
I have heard that life overtakes you at some point, that the elements and the colossal cosmology of ‘fate’ finally comes into play and hurls you out of your choices. I now wonder if it is any different for those of us who do not believe in deities and eschatological doorstops. Does fate knock at their door? Does it interplay in their lives or is a ‘fall- out’, a ‘bad hair day’, ‘ a lost election’ and ‘a love at first sight’ just that - the mere convergence of events to echo the words that frame them?
I feel my belief slipping away, which is weird since I have never really been able to put my finger on 'what exactly' my belief was or is. It has always been a distant nit-picking tap in my brain : "Note-t0-self: Must figure out what we believe in". But it never seemed important enough to merit more than that. I believe or did...in something, larger than myself and that is enough to keep one in check. I am always 'in check'. Not in the 'choakemchild' sense - in the manner, moreover the matter- that I am too aware of all my actions and thoughts. Hence the tendency to lean alot towards the former and too little towards the latter.
Belief and the inherent, soul-wrenching dependence on 'Fate' to work it out...changes alot. Apparently so does lack, loss or limbo of it.

For the believer’s 'Fate' can be a bitch.

Fate promises magic every time it rains. But rains pass and rains conk-out the electricity and the internet.

Fate promises a happenstance romance, every time you work hard on your hair before going out. But the romance usually ends with a smile at yourself in the review mirror of your car, followed by a string of curses at the jeep trying to run you over.

Fate promises laughter every time you meet ‘your’ people. Who only expect the same of you.

Fate promises friends, every time you’re charming in polite company. It is just too damn hard to find 'polite' company these days.

Fate promises family, every time there’s a new moon and an occasion to celebrate. Family, is definitely over-rated.

Fate promises success every time you think you’ve done your best. Which could always have been done 'better'.

Fate promises an awful lot.
And the bout of being a believer is that you buy it.